Eye Candy Milf Magnet
4 baller
Registered: 01/16/10
Posts: 484
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| | 02/22/10 at 06:53 PM | Reply with quote | #1 |
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Hello everyone and welcome to Bonky boot camp. Not only will you be able to think and act like Bonky by the end of this tutorial, but you will also know how to dress and look exactly like him, too.
If you aren't familiar with him yet, his name is Bonky, and he is primarily a ww2er. He is online most of the time, because he has nothing better to do with his life. He is in his late 40s, and probably balding and somewhat overweight. The reason Bonky is such a hot commodity on the myth server is because of his short fuse and complete lack of any type of coherency or competence in the english language. Although he lives in New Zealand, we like to refer to him as an aussie.
So, that leads us to our first ordeal. Bonky has much pride in his country, even though he doesn't really even live in it. Talk shit about Australia, and Bonky will give it to you hard. When one implies their animosity or hatred towards his home kin, all you really have to do is say "Australia sucks." This is just enough in order to ignite the Bonky mobile and propel him into monotonous, incoherent, internet jargon. Lets move on to an example and put this idea into place:
*In the lobby of a ww2 game where Bonky is present*
Bombtrack: australia sucks.
Bonky: well looke who we got here its bumtrak.
Bonky: got no life do ya kid ?
Bonky: sad little loser lives with parents
Bonky: yer life is pathetic get a life lozer
Bonky: i herd america is goin to the shit
Bonky: wut u gona do now if ur cuntry explodes ahaha
Bonky: gnna live off moma and daddy and hide in ther bedroom eh?
Bombtrack: usa > australia
Bonky: go ahed punk keep talkn shit ur just a sad little boy with no life
Blast (Host): Bonky, please check in
Bonky: hey bumtrak wheres all yer friends
Bonky: o tats rite u dont got any cuz yer a lozer
Bonky: sad little boy with no life
*Bombtrack leaves the game*
Bonky: just get out o here n get a life u piece of trailer trash
Bonky: im comin for u little kid
Bonky: gonna beat ur skrawnee little ass in frunt of mommy n daddi
Bonky: just wait til i git my hands on u little punk
Notice how it only takes just a very very small push from an unassuming critic to make this guy boil over in complete angst. Once the Bonky gets going, his path to destruction won't stop anywhere. Even his steadily increasing 3,000+ myth games come to a halt when he even refuses to check in after being told. Even after the fact, Bonky continues to banter on with his jargon, long after the victim has already left the scene. His dedication to start and finish a genuine trash talk, ending with a promise or threat to cause harm to the individual is what separates the Bonkys from the other retards of myth.
On top of his short fuse and persistent anger escapades, Bonky is very gullible and easy to manipulate. Not everyone will be a great Bonky, but certainly with a little practice, you can be on your way to looking more and more like him each and every day. I suggest playing in some games with him as an unmarked name, and just see how he reacts to things you might say. Though extremely idiotic, and labeled as a complete inbred, derelict buffoon, Bonky actually does remember who crosses his path, so its best to go in undercover to eliminate any previous tensions that may have occurred between you two.
What can you expect to do with your newly developed Bonky abilities? The possibilities are infinite, and the more creative you are, without actually forcing Bonky to sign off the server, then the more you win. A favorite one that comes to mind is joining the game dressed exactly like Bonky. Then, when the ww2 game starts, instantly suicide the team. Doesn't matter if you are on his team or not. When the host rehosts, make sure to join the host as fast as possible. Since you are so perfectly disguised as Bonky, down to the color, avatar, team name, and even speech patterns, you can easily outswift the Bonkster and convince the host to actually boot the real Bonky, leaving you the champion. This move cannot be accomplished overnight, I suggest you learn the speech patterns and typing habits before you try to pull off this more advanced move.
In the meantime, you can simply enjoy sitting in the lobby dressed like Bonky, waiting for him to pop out at you. Leave your myth window afk for a few minutes, and surely you will come back to multiple lines of Bonky jargon waiting for your reading pleasure.
  CONGRATULATIONS! You have now completed Bonky boot camp v1.0. Upon graduation you will receive detailed instructions on how to wear the Bonky costume. Be sure to represent him proudly!
Below you will see a diagram for exactly how to dress like Bonky. First, you want to change your name to his: 'Bonky' (in italics). The italics part is important in order to represent authenticity. Failure to do so will result in your easily being spotted as the faker. Second, the team name is 'Bonk United' in italics also. Please use capitalization exactly as shown too.
Next step is to put on the Bonky colors. This step is a big more difficult, and most likely will not be perfect, but with a few trial runs, you will be able to get the color more exact. The neon green dots represent where you should click on the color wheels for primary and secondary color. The neon green lines represent the color shade that those two colors should be at. The last decision is totally up to you; whether or not you want Bonky to find out who is behind this impersonation madness. You can either choose to log in as a guest, Login = guest, and the pw = 'g' (it can be anything as the pw actually). Or, if you want to be seen in the lobby, as well as be able to respond, sign in on your own name and have some extra fun.
I leave you with saying that representing the Bonky is an honor. Please have some respect and dignity when sporting such a professional look. You may get cornered or outnumbered by his incoherent slur of repetitive trash talk, but hang in there and don't get frustrated. When in doubt, respond with short, unintelligent phrases in order to divert attention away from you if the heat is on. Failure to adhere to these guidelines will result in your permanent termination of being able to represent the Bonky.
NOW, MAY OPERATION CRACK BONKY BEGIN!
__________________
There's nothing gay about sucking cock and getting fucked in the ass by another dude at the same time. It's kinky, chicks dig it yo.
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falcon
Moderator
Registered: 12/31/09
Posts: 286
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Argos
2 baller
Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 105
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Eye Candy Milf Magnet
4 baller
Registered: 01/16/10
Posts: 484
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| | 02/22/10 at 09:57 PM | Reply with quote | #4 |
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post your funny bonky screen shots here. this was the REAL bonky bickering after i joined the game using his color scheme with the name 'poop stain'
__________________
There's nothing gay about sucking cock and getting fucked in the ass by another dude at the same time. It's kinky, chicks dig it yo. |
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Pogue
3 baller
Registered: 01/03/10
Posts: 290
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| | 02/22/10 at 10:35 PM | Reply with quote | #5 |
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| HAHAHAHA I did my good deed for the day when i harassed bonky in 2 ww2 games. Suck it Bonky. |
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Homer
Moderator
Registered: 01/04/10
Posts: 290
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| | 02/22/10 at 10:51 PM | Reply with quote | #6 |
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It's good old cruel cyber bullying fun, can't deny it. I predict Bonky joins Al Qaida and becomes a suicide bomber not because he wants 72 virgins but because we finally cause him to crack and he comes through on his threats.
WHY ARE YOU ALL SO OBSESSED WITH HIM
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Eye Candy Milf Magnet
4 baller
Registered: 01/16/10
Posts: 484
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| | 02/22/10 at 10:55 PM | Reply with quote | #7 |
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LOL pogue he thought i was you when i was using his name this evening. he thinks ur in love with him LOL
__________________
There's nothing gay about sucking cock and getting fucked in the ass by another dude at the same time. It's kinky, chicks dig it yo. |
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Pogue
3 baller
Registered: 01/03/10
Posts: 290
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honkey
3 baller
Registered: 01/20/10
Posts: 211
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Eye Candy Milf Magnet
4 baller
Registered: 01/16/10
Posts: 484
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| | 03/04/10 at 12:42 PM | Reply with quote | #10 |
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bump. GET ON IT PPLZ
__________________
There's nothing gay about sucking cock and getting fucked in the ass by another dude at the same time. It's kinky, chicks dig it yo. |
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qwerty
NOOB
Registered: 03/05/10
Posts: 9
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| | 03/05/10 at 04:23 AM | Reply with quote | #11 |
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| many years ago bonky used the name "col" (it might even be his real name). Changing your name to 'col' will likely result in an avalanche of abuse. |
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honkey
3 baller
Registered: 01/20/10
Posts: 211
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RONDO JONES JR
Moderator
Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 640
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| | 03/05/10 at 01:01 PM | Reply with quote | #13 |
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| i like wwos comments in the last slide, reminds me of hanni talking to jeng :~O :^O ;O or tip :>O |
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Pogue
3 baller
Registered: 01/03/10
Posts: 290
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